I am eternally fascinated by how my writing can run away with me. Lately, I have been extremely inspired . . . my muse is being VERY vocal right now. However, all this internal noise isn't necessarily making it on to the page in the way I would hope, or in the time I would like. Honestly, it drives me a bit crazy. I spend my days telling my students that they need to concentrate on the creative process until things come together, but I am struggling with the very concept that I teach. I feel a bit of a hypocrite, and I am not comfortable with that.
My students are doing class debates right now. Their fascination with the process reminds me of all the reasons I loved speech and debate during HS and University myself. Most of them have never been given the chance to express their own thoughts so vocally, and I think many of them find the liberation a bit dizzying. I personally love the look of awe on their faces when a concept jells, and they KNOW that the opposition has no hope of refuting their brilliance. It is one of the few times that I look beyond being stuck in this valley and can fully enjoy my job. I am not oblivious. I know how lucky I am to be doing what I love. There were a lot of pitfalls on the way to becoming a professor; however, most of the journey has been pretty amazing.
So my week is filled with debate and poetry and a whole lot of cleaning. The flu(from last week) equates to more catch up work once well. I was a tornado of cleaning yesterday, and now I must finish the little edges so I have a clean space to grade and write in again. Funny how my mind can be a jumbled mess, but my home has to be clean for me to think. It has been a crazy month; I don't even have all the tinsel off the walls.
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