Being Mom

I know that often things are not the way you think they will be. For example: life, sex, marriage, school, friends, life ... um yeah. Sometimes things are better than you ever imagined ... sometimes not so much. I have spent a lot of time thinking about what it would feel like to be a mom. For once in my life it is just as hard and just as rewarding as I thought it would be. That is not to say that there aren't surprises (of course there are), and it is not to say that it is easy because I know what I am doing (of course I don't). I remember my dad saying to me when I had just turned sixteen, "Cut me some slack Stace; I have never been the father of a 16 year old girl." Being the oldest came with some guinea pig side effects, but I loved it too. Little Miss challenges me daily, much the same way that I am sure my mom was challenged by me. I KNOW I wasn't an easy child. I was the oldest from the moment my first brother was born, and the tendencies to be a mother- hen-know-it-all-smart-alec were pretty much innate. So let us just say I adore my daughter, and she drives me batty.

I AM PROFOUNDLY SORRY MOM FOR EVERY CHALLENGE I GAVE YOU.

For instance friends, ask me sometime about how I learned about sex at the age of 4 1/2 from my best friend Kim who was nearly 6. Let us just say Barbie , Ken and her description were SPOT ON, and I was VERY clear on how things worked, much to my young mother's dismay. In some ways it was a blessing. Mom only had to say, "Yes, that is right. How do you feel about that?" I don't remember my reply, but I have no scars from it. I find it nigh unto comical. Kim's parents were hippies, and so they told her at the wise age of five everything she needed to know and a whole lot more. Years later sex ed and maturation classes seemed pretty pathetic.

So I am now a training bra buying mom of a 10 year old who is sometimes 5 and sometimes 25. She is a bundle of energy, questions etc. Most days the obligatory "MOM!!!" every 10 minutes is simply funny and makes me smile ... but hey, I am not perfect ... other days I want to run screaming from the house. So there it is. I love our kid. She is a delight, a great helper, and for all her scars she reminds me a lot of me and my dearest friends all rolled into one. She is a craft fanatic: part Bob Ross, part MacGyver. She is a tom boy who loves her Sunday best. I am hooked, and I can't wait to make her ours forever.

I know that I have years of her being a teen to deal with, but God was kind. I have a few years to have a little girl too. She will grow up. The time will fly. But I have been waiting for so long for this, somehow I don't mind the 10 year jump start. She wants siblings someday, but for now we are a happy little family of three.