I sit on the precipice of wonder. I am unsure where the two of us will be in a couple of months, but I am hoping for a place where I can make a difference, pay the bills, and raise a family. We are ready for a new start, perhaps in the Delta, or wherever God takes us. But for now, I dream of sunsets over rice fields and the cool Delta breeze.
I know many of my friends think I am crazy, but I don't think anyone except God can fully understand how much Doug and I have been through in the last two years. I am strong for the most part, but that does not change the fact that I am tired of struggling to make ends meet when I am a good teacher with a strong work ethic. Today I shocked another of my colleagues when they discovered the extent of my research assignments for my students. "I would not want to grade that! Why do you torture yourself; we don't get paid enough for that." Sadly they are right; I don't get paid anywhere near enough, but does that mean that I punish my students by giving them banal useless assignments that are easy for me to grade? NO! When I was a young college student I longed for my own classroom; a corner of the world where I could make a difference, a deep and abiding difference in a few kid's lives. I do that, but lately it has been made apparent to me that I could do more, for more pay, and with infinitely more rewards.
I did not become a teacher for the money, but by the same token Doug and I need to afford a life that allows us to have a comfortable home and the joy of children, God willing. So I will support my husband finishing his schooling, so he can make a living wage, and I will give my students REAL WORLD work to do, so they can be successful in their careers. I will dream of the better world, but I will be damned if I sit and wait for it to happen without help from me. And that, that is why I want to move, out of my comfort zone and into a strange new land with new students and a new outlook. MLK was right, dreams are what makes life worth living, but there is work in the future of any successful dreamer. I want to live my dream, not just wish it would come true.
I know many of my friends think I am crazy, but I don't think anyone except God can fully understand how much Doug and I have been through in the last two years. I am strong for the most part, but that does not change the fact that I am tired of struggling to make ends meet when I am a good teacher with a strong work ethic. Today I shocked another of my colleagues when they discovered the extent of my research assignments for my students. "I would not want to grade that! Why do you torture yourself; we don't get paid enough for that." Sadly they are right; I don't get paid anywhere near enough, but does that mean that I punish my students by giving them banal useless assignments that are easy for me to grade? NO! When I was a young college student I longed for my own classroom; a corner of the world where I could make a difference, a deep and abiding difference in a few kid's lives. I do that, but lately it has been made apparent to me that I could do more, for more pay, and with infinitely more rewards.
I did not become a teacher for the money, but by the same token Doug and I need to afford a life that allows us to have a comfortable home and the joy of children, God willing. So I will support my husband finishing his schooling, so he can make a living wage, and I will give my students REAL WORLD work to do, so they can be successful in their careers. I will dream of the better world, but I will be damned if I sit and wait for it to happen without help from me. And that, that is why I want to move, out of my comfort zone and into a strange new land with new students and a new outlook. MLK was right, dreams are what makes life worth living, but there is work in the future of any successful dreamer. I want to live my dream, not just wish it would come true.
2 comments:
Stacy - Good luck and all the best in whatever you end up doing. It is good to know there are others out there who WANT to make a difference, and are willing to try. I hope everything is beautiful for you!
I hope you do know that your "real life" assignments are appreciated by at least one student . . . :) I've been a teacher myself, to younger people, nonetheless: I feel very strongly about the "reality" of schoolwork. There's nothing worse than a BS worksheet that takes way too much time to accomplish.
Coming from a student of yours: You've succeeded this semester, though it may not seem like it. Thanks for the life lesson, Stacy.
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