Thor, Poseidon, and Brad Pitt Met in Vegas to Discuss Hemingway and Shelob

Talk about dreams that make you question if something made it's way into the local water. This week has been far too long due to two spider bites. One black widow, one hobo and thus high fevers and a lot of sleep for me. I met the black widow at my local store while buying shampoo. The hobo was at my house. Yes, the exterminator is coming today. Doug and my daughter have been seriously worried about me since the fevers are making me a zombie. So here is how it has gone. I could seriously write a book about the weirdness of my dreams this week.

Tuesday: Post black widow -- dreams of tango dancing with octopi off the coast of Tanzania with my fellow snorkling enthusiasts ... I have no idea how any of it would be even remotely possible. Fantastic outfits and music though.

Wednesday: Two words: Shelob and Lolth. I don't even want to explain further.

Thursday: Guatemalan ant farming torture session. Forced to feed giant ants for five hours a day in the heat of the Guatemalan Summer. Had serious tones of The Most Dangerous Game meets Jumanji.

Friday: Bit by another spider. Hobo this time. Toxin warring in my leg. Fever of 102 and dreams of Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets proportions. "Why couldn't it have been follow the butterflies?"

Saturday: Have to miss seeing my dear college roommate who I haven't seen in years due to spider venom war. Spent day in bed feeling picked on. Slept through a post apocalyptic Bladerunner meets Mr. Bean dream. I could hear my friend Robin complaining about the lack of communication and making snide hysterical MST3K like comments throughout the whole "movie" type experience. Woke up laughing ... too hysterically.

Sunday: Missed church due to pain and fever. Hate spiders with such vitriol as to create small spider sized atomic bombs. Dreams of Strawberry Shortcake taking out her anger on My Little Pony. Imagine Catcher in the Rye meets Mr. Rogers neighborhood, and you might have the vaguest idea of my pain.

BUT THAT IS NOT THE BEST PART

Doug and I took a nap today. When we woke up he informed me that he (who rarely remembers his dreams) had just had a dream where Thor (Norweigian god of Thunder) and Poseidon (Greek god of Ocean) were using him and Brad Pitt as human puppets in their war of domination of the Sea in LAS VEGAS! Even without spider venom his dreams are more fun that my spider induced scenarios. UNFAIR. And as if that wasn't enough. They were both (Thor and Poseidon) dressed like old fishermen circa Old Man in the Sea/ Hemingway's Old Fart in a Boat. So..... that is why I am crazy, and why I am glad that I have a literate husband who apparently hopped on the crazy dream train with me this week. Can't wait to hear what you all think about this post. Maybe tonight will be a little less bizarre , but then again...